Not feeling... perky.

I have discovered a sludge beyond the capacity for human consumption. Sure, those by the cup, 'coffee on a string' things are cool, but I wanted to make more than just one cup at a time. Thus, I bought a coffee maker. I even followed the directions (which is a big thing for me... trust me, it is) and washed the damn thing before using it. It's been washed, dried, rinsed, run through... and when I made the coffee, it was *measured* even!

So why the sludge? Why, when I poured what was supposed to be a solid shot of caffeinated goodness, did I get radioactive sea slime? Why, God, Why???