Wasabi Noodle Snack demands your respect!

We were running low on fish chips so I hit the Asian market on the way home and stumbled across "Wasabi Noodle Snack!" Turns out they're just fried ramen noodles with wasabi powder, but it's the Engrish on the back of the packaging that got me. And I quote:

Oishi! Samurai Warrior must have energy to do battle. So my NO. 1 source of nutrition is most honourable KOKA Wasabi Noodle Snack. It's very fast. Veeery healthy. And veeery HOT! Wasabi Noodle Snack demands your respect! Remember, resistance is useless! Get them before they get you. Arigato.