random ramblings

[zebralittle52]

This has not been my best week... Though learning is always important, the things you learn can be unpleasant.

And it's not so much the thing itself that has me upset, but the way I've let it affect everything else. I've been distr acted (Yes, worse than normal -_-) and unable to concentrate... to the point my driving is dangerous, and my work has suffered.

I swear, my boss has to think I've left my brain at home all this week... asking the most stupid questions, when I KNOW I k n ow the answers somewhere in my head.

On top of that, I had to turn in the notice on my lease before they'd release any info to the new apt. complex, which I did this morning... but I just heard there may be a problem getting the apt. 'cause I haven't b een working here for 6 months yet. SO, if I don't get the place, I'm pretty much screwed.

Which brings up a very sore point of mine. I'd moved into the place I'm at now 4 years ago from across Texas, for the sole reason that it was closer to my son. I n some way, it's connected in my mind that moving farther away, even though it's only by maybe half an hour, is one more mark on just how crappy a mother I am. But that mess is a post for another day.

I haven't been sleeping, and there's been having bad d reams when I do.

That's what I'm angry about, the rest of it be damned. Friends come and go, obviously, but my fucked up life is here to stay and all of that's my problem.

Next month has to be better.›